Sleep

Since Aaron has been gone this week, I decided now would be a good time to help Sophia learn to self soothe at night, and start sleeping in her crib. Lately, Aaron has been mentioning more and more about not getting enough sleep, sometimes moving to the couch, or Sophia's floor. What a nice surpise it'd be for him to come home to a baby that sleeps in her crib!

Just to make a note for myself... Never, ever, bring the baby to bed with you! Yes, it's sweet, and so special, but it is one hard, mean habbit to break!

Sophia started sleeping 8+ hours a night when she was about three months. Wow! Yes. It was awesome. We'd put her down in her bassinet (then later in the crib) while she was still half awake, and she'd peacefully drift off to sleep. She'd wake for an early, early morning feeding on the couch with momma, then back down for another few hours. When she got her first ear infection at seven months, we (ok, I guess it was me...) started bringing her to the bed because it was so much easier for us both to fall back to sleep while she nursed.

She's had a few ear infections on and off since then, and we still haven't bounced back. Now, don't get me wrong, she's slept some good hours alone in her crib, but it's usually after we nurse, lay, and sometimes after Aaron walks around with her for an hour or so. Sometimes it's easy. Easy peasy. Other times, not so much. Like, I fall asleep before her. After she's asleep, if we're lucky, we move her to the crib without her waking up. If we're not lucky, she sleeps with us. Sleeps horizontally. Sleeps with feet in our sides. Sleeps with little hands that smack our faces. Sleeps with her sweaty little body pressed against ours. But she sleeps! Ha. And we don't.

Ok, she actually does sleep way better alone, just getting there is hard.

... I knew it was too good to be true. Three months. Pff. ;)

Anyway, so Aaron has been gone.

The first night, was surprisingly easy. Nursed, bottle, sang, snuggles, laid her in the crib, said "I love you and it's time to go night night." She cried HARD for about five minutes. Then, on and off for just a few more. My plan was to go in there every so often, stretching each time out a little bit longer than the time before. I'd give paci, tell her I loved her, and time to go night night, then leave. But baby girl worked it out before I even go started. Awesome!

Then there was the second night. Poor Sweet girl. She cried on and off for almost two hours. It seems like I would make it even worse by going in there and checking on her. It was awful!!

The third night, well... the third night, I got her to bed, she started crying, then I got a little spooked. I hate staying here alone. I love being alone. I love my alone time. As long as it's not at night, or there's someone else in the house. heh. Anyway, Dad came over and we packed up to stay at his house for the night. Another note to self... Be consistant! Night number 3 did not help! We undid everything we had worked for already.

The fourth night was worse than the second. I'm so glad Sophia didn't just scream the whole time. I wouldn't have been able to handle that. But, I almost wish she would have. What she did was worse! Baby Soph would just sit in her crib, starring into the dark. If I peeked in her room, she'd see me and get upset. Sometimes, I'd watch from down the hall, and she'd be nodding off, but wake herself back up before she fell over. So sad!

Tonight was easy. Well, so far. We called it an early night since she hardly napped today, and had such a long night last night. We nursed/bottle at 7:00, fell asleep in my arms, put her in the crib, she whined while I was walking out, but it only lasted a minute. She's been quiet ever since.

Part of me feels mean. Just plain mean. I'm afraid she'll think I don't care about her, or won't come for her. But Aaron came first. I want him to know that he's still first.

It's funny, because when she was first born, Aaron and I swore we'd never bring her in the bed to sleep. I mean, that was crazy. Ha! We also didn't support the whole "cry it out" method. I know there are many different definitions of crying it out, but for the most part, I thought I'd never get to that point. Actually, I don't even like to call it "crying it out." I mean, I'm there. I check on her often. I just want her to be able to learn to fall asleep in her crib, alone. And I'm doing it with a loving, and tender heart!

The main reason I want her to sleep in the crib (at least for the first half of the night) is for me and Aaron. He usually gets home later in the evening, and with baby girl being so difficult to get to bed, I feel like that takes up my time to spend with Aaron. Sometimes, it even just makes both of us frustrated. Who wants that? I want to be able to have that time with Aaron. And as sweet as Sophia is, I'm just ready for her to not be in our bed 24/7.

We've given this a shot a few times before, and it just hasn't worked out. Last night I caved and brought her in our room after a couple of hours. I'm going to continue trying to put her in the crib, awake, but if it doesn't work every night, then that's ok. She's just a baby.. ok, technically a toddler. I guess if she's not ready, she'll let us know. And that's ok. But for now, I'm going to keep trying.

I've been reading a bunch of stuff online, and it seems like we're the only culture who puts their babies in another room, and makes them learn to sleep by themselves before they're ready. There's even some articles about crying it out causing brain damage! Not that I'd ever let it get to that point. But still. Seems like there's so much pressure to have your baby sleeping alone at night.

Anyway, Ashley, when baby number two comes, and you look back on this, remember how incredibly hard (for you and Sophia) it was to help her learn to fall asleep in her crib. Think twice before you bring that sweet baby into your bed. And even though you support co-sleeping, and it was precious bonding, and worked for a while, if it's really that important to have your time with Aaron, then never bring that sweet baby into your bed. :)

Still loving life!
Even if it's a sleepless one. ;)