Pregnancy is hard.

31 weeks.

We're in the single digit countdown now. Whoa! 

For the most part, this pregnancy has been pretty easy and I am thankful baby boy and I are completely healthy.

But I just gotta say it.

Pregnancy is hard.

I'm trying to remind myself it's OK to be frustrated and tired. And sore. And hormonal.

Sometimes, I've got so much energy I forget I'm pregnant! I'm blown away at the productivity coming from me.

Other times, I'm too exhausted to do anything and it's another night of PB&Js in the Byrd house. 

Its 2:45AM and I cannot sleep.

 

-I've grown (literally... Ha) to hate the nights.

-My hips are on fire.

-My shoulders hurt from laying on my sides.

-I wake up out of breath and light headed from accidentally laying on my back.

-I want to drink a gallon of water during the night but don't so I'm not adding to my 4-5 nightly pees.

-Baby boy is wild and constantly wakes me up.

-I have a burning in my throat that's trying to be heartburn (thank God it's not full blown).

-No longer feel rested when I wake in the morning.

-My feet are starting to ache and my left ankle swelled a little the other night. Resulted in a huge meltdown with lots of tears.... Not ready for that one.

-It's getting harder watching the numbers on the scale go up at every appointment.

-I feel fat.

-Having to take breaks during the day to put my feet up. Frustrating.

-The top of my stomach hurts when I bend over.

-It's getting hard to get up and down on the floor with Sophia. Makes me feel like a bad mom.

-My house is a wreck which makes my mind feel cluttered seeing all the clutter and messes.

-I'm tired. A lot.

-I'm hot.

-I'm slacking in the parenting.

-My hands and feet get "tight" when I'm the slightest bit hot. Goodbye wedding rings!

-Little things like loading and unloading Sophia in the car, or lifting her up on the potty make me feel exhausted.

The list could go on and on.

The hardest part is allowing myself to feel these ways. Letting it be OK that it's hard. Allowing myself to take breaks without feeling guilty. Everyone else seems to understand the fact that pregnancy is hard. Growing a baby is tiring. Why don't I really think that? I guess I do now.

Was it this hard when I was pregnant with Sophia?

Everyone says no because I wasn't chasing around a toddler. Probably true. Can't help but compare the two pregnancies though. Maybe if I were better shape to begin with it'd be easier?

We're approaching 32 weeks. The week I had Sophia. I can't imagine being more pregnant than this.... I'm only 31 weeks? Isn't the "hard" time like 37-40+ weeks?

Maybe I'm just a whimp.

Maybe we just had too busy a week last week and need to take it easy this week.

Maybe this is all normal?

I do know though, I'm glad I have Aaron. :) 

Thinking about all the moments he stops what he's doing to give me sweet hugs and kisses, tells me I'm beautiful and I'm doing a good job, and helps with Sophia... Not once has he gotten frustrated with my needing to cry on his shoulder, or that I need to relax in another bath, or the fact that there's no dinner on the table. Again. 

I love this baby boy. My sweet Silas. 

And even though I'm going through a rough patch (maybe I'm just super hormonal right now...) in the pregnancy, my heart is full and all is well. :)

Baby Update - 30 Weeks

This pregnancy is taking forever!

....

But it's going by so fast!

30 weeks already. Wow. 

I just want to meet our baby boy!! 

Not yet though. When he's full term. ;)

Speaking of baby boy... We've decided on a name!

We were going to wait until his birth to tell his name, but we've already spilled the beans sooo...

(Here's little guy at my 28 week cervical check ultrasound. Which is still in the normal range!! No sign of preterm labor as of yet. Yay!)

There's not any special meaning to his name other than the fact that we both really liked it. :)

30 Weeks 

-Starting to feel uncomfortable, but still fully able to move around with ease.

-Baby is head down (and very low!!).

-Feeling the occasional kick in the ribs.

-Noticing baby hiccups. 

-Not quite heartburn but almost! Just an annoying burning in my throat every evening and into the night. 

-Craving ice.

-.... and sweets.

-Total weight gain=15lbs.

-No stretch marks.

-Braxton Hicks seem to calm down some after visiting the chiropractor. Last time my hips were an inch out of alignment. No wonder my lower back was killing me and I had such an irritable uterus!

-Working on birth plan.

-Baby is much more active than Sophia, and she was pretty active! Wondering if everyone else is able to see my stomach jiggle and move as much as I am. It is seriously distracting! Catching glimpses of a bulge or movement across my belly out of the corner of my eye all the time! Along with feeling it, of course. ;)

-He is also sitting on a nerve that makes the very top part of my left leg numb and tingle.

-Feeling myself widen around my sides and hips. Think I'm starting to grow side to side instead of just out front now.

-Always hungry.

-Also feeling swelling and tightness in my fingers when I'm really hot. Not cool!

Baby #2 has been much more different than #1. 

We've decided not to use the our extra room as a nursery, but turn it into a play/school room for Sophia (and eventually Silas). We have a big recliner in there that will be my "nursing station" and main hang out when he's first born. Planning on having the room all decked out to keep Sophia entertained while mommy adjusts to life with a newborn and toddler. Silas will sleep in the co-sleeper crib in our room, has a drawer in our dresser, and space in my closet for his things. I'll probably post pictures in a few weeks when it's all set up.

We already have quite a few clothes thanks to Micah-Ray's hand-me-downs and my moms thrifty buying. I've also just started to buy a few onesies and sleepers and found some gently used Aden & Anais muslin blankets on eBay (score!). We've got the car seat/base, co-sleeper, wrap and buckle carrier (also want to buy or make a ring sling), will be breastfeeding, swing, Sophia's old bouncer, baby items and toys, double stroller, and I'm working on our cloth diaper stash. I'm feeling pretty prepared. Only a few more little things I'd like to have.

I decided to use flats, prefolds, and diaper covers for diapering while at home. I'd really like to use The Honest Company diapers or Seventh Generation (yes mom, the "dirty" plain brown diapers, lol) when we're out and about, and don't think it'll be too expensive since we'll be using cloth most of the time.

 Flats are big cotton fabric squares. I'm buying the flour sack towels at Target that are 4 for $4. Can't beat that! Although, there are some pretty pricey hemp and bamboo flats specifically made for cloth diapering that I'd love to have. Maybe I can find some used for cheap! All about saving money over here!! 

I have about 10 flats, 10 small prefolds, and two Snappis so far. Oh, and I need to make wipes (or buy tons of baby wash cloths since I'm lazy), and come up with a good wipe solution to put in a spray bottle. I think I'm going to use Blueberry one size snap diaper covers, but am not sure yet. We'll only need a few since you don't have to wash them after each use. 

I did some practicing tonight. Basically, you fold the cloth snugly around baby, secure with Snappi, and cover with thin waterproof diaper cover. Except I don't have any covers yet, so I was only able to practice the flats and prefolds. 

The covers I would like grow with baby and have double gussets around the legs (prevent leakage). They're kinda pricey, but again, we'd only need a few and they'll last a long time.

I'm convinced this is the most inexpensive way to cloth diaper, not to mention it's clean, chemical free, gentle on baby's skin, and much better for the environment. I feel good about it. And the good thing about exclusively breastfeeding for the first six months is that I don't even have to rinse them out! Breastfed baby poops can go straight in the wash. Woot woot! In the cloth diaper load. Not with the rest of the laundry. ;) Too much info? Heh, sorry!

Aaron is on board with this cloth diapering system, too. He's always on board. He's easy. I lucked out. ;)

Sophia Rae 2.5 Years

Hmm...
While I have some quiet time might as well write some of this down! I'll probably have to keep adding to it as I think of more.

"The days may seem long, but the years are short."

Not sure when or where I read that, but I've never understood it like I do now.

Sophia is two and a half years old! 

Every day I find myself thinking about how fast she's growing up and wanting to remember every little thing she does. I know I say this with every age she is, but this really is my favorite age. Mostly because she's just so darn cute, but also because it finally feels like we're starting to understand this whole parenting thing. From dealing with tantrums, to boo boos, to sleep time, to self control, and I guess just child training in general. We still have a LONG way to go, but it's starting to feel easier. :)

-Sophia is quite the little talker.

Most of what she says is her processing whatever she sees or is doing, but man! That girl can carry a conversation. Yesterday was a long morning. Sophia's jabbering voice had me drained. When I started to get frustrated I couldn't help but laugh. Do any other mom's of toddlers have to beg them to stop talking?!? Mom always laughs because Micah-Ray is still that way. That boy can talk, too. Maybe that's why they get along so well. ;) 

-"Huggie." 

My fav. Soph still requires a hug any time she's upset, hurt, or lovey.

Mad about nap time? She wails, cries, and asks for a huggie. Bumped her head? Huggie. Sad she has to share? Huggie. And usually after a good little cry, she's back to her happy self. Oh, and sometimes just random love huggies. Aaron and I have also taken on the huggie concept. Sometimes my pregnant self just needs a huggie, then I'm better. Or we'll get into a disagreement and Aaron will have us give huggies. When in doubt, hug it out. Right?

-Still sleeps with us (because Sophie and I have the same bedtime. ha!), but will gladly sleep in her bed if we want her to. She started sleeping in our bed when she was a year old and has off and on every since. I've been torn on this for so long. To make her sleep in her bed, or to have her sleep with us? Yeah, we get kicks and smacks to the face by uncontrollable, sleepy little arms and legs, but we also wake to sleepy, dreaming giggles, random half asleep hugs, kisses and snuggles, and listen to her talk in her sleep. We'll probably do things a little different with baby brother, but for the most part, I don't regret letting Sophia sleep with us if she wants.

-Speaking of sleep. Nap time. I feel like we're coming to an end of our daily naps. Sophia (usually) sleeps a solid twelve hours every night and will sleep about an hour during nap, but not without a fight (yes, 12 and then a nap. Guess I shouldn't complain!)! If she doesn't sleep twelve hours the night before, she'll nap for at least two hours. Seems like it's taking longer and longer for her to fall asleep for nap. After about an hour I'll give up and she can go play. Think I'll try to stick with "rest" time if she stops falling asleep for a nap. At least that way we'll both still have some quiet down time every day.

-Favorite toys are her three stuffed animals (Turtle, Monkey, Baby Duck), Bitty Baby, and Thomas trains.

-Favorite activities are painting, Thomas trains/tracks, Legos, using the spray bottle, wearing and changing shoes (ALL DAY!), taking care of Bitty Baby, watching Netflix, doing "school" work, moon sand, the park, grocery shopping with her cart and play refrigerator and toy foods, using a camera, building forts, and helping (laundry, sweeping, cooking, baking, dishes, etc.).

-For about six months now has known all the letters in the alphabet, numbers 1-10, and most colors.

-Very sensitive and usually sensitive to other's feelings.

-Is picking up on people's conversations and repeating what they say. ....Oops! Ha ha.

-Likes to "read" but not so much being read to.

-Wears size 2T in clothes (some 18-24month bottoms), and size 7 shoes.

-Potty training herself if we don't put a diaper on. Woo hoo!

-Adds "ie" on most words. Huggie, snackie, sockie, shoesies, etc..

-Started to understand the meaning of friends and loves to talk about and play with friends. We went to story time at the library the other day (Why didn't I start that earlier?! And why don't I go more often!?) and Sophia called the kids her new friends. Even though we didn't really talk to anyone... She also loves her class at church and seeing her "friends!" But really, she just has the Beaver's kids as friends. We've been seeing them a little more than we usually do lately and have definitely been enjoying their new backyard with them! :) I think I'll make it a point to get involved in MOPS this next semester and hopefully meet some new friends for myself and Sophia.

Two is turning out to be a great year! Even though there are some really terrible moments, they never seem to trump the terrific ones. 

We love her to pieces. :)