Pregnancy is hard.

31 weeks.

We're in the single digit countdown now. Whoa! 

For the most part, this pregnancy has been pretty easy and I am thankful baby boy and I are completely healthy.

But I just gotta say it.

Pregnancy is hard.

I'm trying to remind myself it's OK to be frustrated and tired. And sore. And hormonal.

Sometimes, I've got so much energy I forget I'm pregnant! I'm blown away at the productivity coming from me.

Other times, I'm too exhausted to do anything and it's another night of PB&Js in the Byrd house. 

Its 2:45AM and I cannot sleep.

 

-I've grown (literally... Ha) to hate the nights.

-My hips are on fire.

-My shoulders hurt from laying on my sides.

-I wake up out of breath and light headed from accidentally laying on my back.

-I want to drink a gallon of water during the night but don't so I'm not adding to my 4-5 nightly pees.

-Baby boy is wild and constantly wakes me up.

-I have a burning in my throat that's trying to be heartburn (thank God it's not full blown).

-No longer feel rested when I wake in the morning.

-My feet are starting to ache and my left ankle swelled a little the other night. Resulted in a huge meltdown with lots of tears.... Not ready for that one.

-It's getting harder watching the numbers on the scale go up at every appointment.

-I feel fat.

-Having to take breaks during the day to put my feet up. Frustrating.

-The top of my stomach hurts when I bend over.

-It's getting hard to get up and down on the floor with Sophia. Makes me feel like a bad mom.

-My house is a wreck which makes my mind feel cluttered seeing all the clutter and messes.

-I'm tired. A lot.

-I'm hot.

-I'm slacking in the parenting.

-My hands and feet get "tight" when I'm the slightest bit hot. Goodbye wedding rings!

-Little things like loading and unloading Sophia in the car, or lifting her up on the potty make me feel exhausted.

The list could go on and on.

The hardest part is allowing myself to feel these ways. Letting it be OK that it's hard. Allowing myself to take breaks without feeling guilty. Everyone else seems to understand the fact that pregnancy is hard. Growing a baby is tiring. Why don't I really think that? I guess I do now.

Was it this hard when I was pregnant with Sophia?

Everyone says no because I wasn't chasing around a toddler. Probably true. Can't help but compare the two pregnancies though. Maybe if I were better shape to begin with it'd be easier?

We're approaching 32 weeks. The week I had Sophia. I can't imagine being more pregnant than this.... I'm only 31 weeks? Isn't the "hard" time like 37-40+ weeks?

Maybe I'm just a whimp.

Maybe we just had too busy a week last week and need to take it easy this week.

Maybe this is all normal?

I do know though, I'm glad I have Aaron. :) 

Thinking about all the moments he stops what he's doing to give me sweet hugs and kisses, tells me I'm beautiful and I'm doing a good job, and helps with Sophia... Not once has he gotten frustrated with my needing to cry on his shoulder, or that I need to relax in another bath, or the fact that there's no dinner on the table. Again. 

I love this baby boy. My sweet Silas. 

And even though I'm going through a rough patch (maybe I'm just super hormonal right now...) in the pregnancy, my heart is full and all is well. :)