I can do it!

There are one hundred other things I should be doing right now, but I miss blogging. So, blogging wins.

There are also a few other posts I wanted to put up before this one.

Scarlett's birth.

Silas' 15 month.

Sophia's 4th year.

Vein issues during and after pregnancy.

Scarlett's first month.

Wednesday night I had a little breakdown. Aaron started back to school this week and has a lab two evenings a week. Wednesday was his second evening gone. We're kind of used to him working late so it wasn't too big a deal, but it added to stress that had been building.

While I was pregnant, I knew having three children four years and under would be challenging. (And boy was everyone quick to let me know how just how "hard" it is going to be.) But there's no way to be prepared for it until it happens. It's not that it is even hard. It's just constant. Con-stant.

Everyone always needs something. 

Someone is always emptying something.

There's always a bottom that needs wiping.

A mouth to feed.

A mouth to wipe up!

Sibling rivalry at play.

Help with feelings they don't know how to say.

Discipline to be done.

Mom sucking all their fun.

Heh. It was starting to sound a little Dr. Seuss-y. So I went with it. Maybe I should keep going sometime and see where it takes me!

But you get the picture. 

And in between all that, I'm having to remind myself to eat and drink water. Ahh. So there's the secret to staying thin. Have multiple children close in age! ;)

Anyway. Wednesday night. 

When Aaron got home I told him I wanted to put Sophia in a preschool program. I could see his face fall. We have always planned on homeschooling at least through elementary. But long story short, it all came down to be doubting myself, being tired, and feeling sorry that I'm not "doing enough" or keeping Sophia entertained.

That night I prayed that God would give me confidence and allow myself grace, and I woke up feeling totally renewed. 

And that's what this post is actually about.

I can do it.

It will take lots of planning and prepping, but I can do it. 

Thursday we had our first outing for fun with just me and the kids. We went to Free Art Thursday at the museum.

Sophia went straight to the craft table and worked for almost an hour on her creations while chatting away with the other children and their families. Silas sat right next to her almost the whole time copying what she did. He loved using the glue sticks. Scarlett... Oh, my sweet Scarlett. I held her the whole time. She's my hardest baby by far. In the late afternoon and evenings she pretty much cries unless she's held. Thankfully, Silas was so consumed in his crafting that I was able to hold her without ever having to chase him down. (I would have worn her in my new awesome wrap, but I wore her so much earlier in the week that I gave myself a bad plugged milk duct. Bleh.)

When they got up from the craft table we tried building with blocks, but Silas wandered and ended up at another craft table with colored permanent markers. When I tried to get him down he screamed. 

Side note: Silas is a screamer. A loud, LOUD, mad screamer and tantrum thrower.

Hearing that first scream, I knew it was time to head out before it all hit the floor.

I purposely skipped the kid's afternoon snack and packed it to take with us to help lure them out of the museum and it worked like a charm. All I had to do was show Silas his snack bag and tell him to sit in the stroller and he gladly climbed down from the permanent marker table, signing "eat, eat" and got in the stroller. Sophia also gladly left her table, too.

How awesome is this stroller? I'm glad Sophia is young enough to still be able to hop on and catch a ride. She usually stands, but she can also squeeze in a sit next to Silas.

 It's always nice to get everyone in the van without anyone crying. It's just nice. 

We also got a parking spot that completely covered the van with shade and it wasn't blistering hot when we got in, which was also nice.

We came home to a messy house, crumby floors, late start on dinner, a nursing session while I walked around putting together a quick meal, and the bigs watching another TV show, but it was good. We were all happy. 

And I can do it.

Sophia's Drawings

Sweet girl has been so excited about learning to draw. I love that she likes to show me everything she's working on. I mean, e-ver-ry-thing. I really do love it. It never gets old.

Back in February Sophia drew her first real picture. 

I remember when she walked in the living room with it. I died laughing. I wasn't expecting a real picture at all! A hilarious one at that. 

The next say she drew her second ever picture.

I died laughing again. It's kinda tribal. Right? I love it.

There have been many pictures since, but these two take the cake. 

Sophia has actually been writing letters a lot lately and starting to ask about spelling. The season of scribbles as writing is coming to an end. I seem to be going through the motions during this pregnancy. Just waiting for it to end. Glad I took a few minutes to write this down and remember how much I love it all. I'm sad to see the scribbles go, but excited for Sophie at the same time. She is growing up so fast.

We found a new trick to get Sophia to clean up easier. Chore charts. Any time I need her to pick up her things and I'm putting my feet up, I make a chart of all the things we need to pick up. Sophie loves having each task checked off. She also likes to make her own charts. 

Right before I was putting Silas down for his morning nap this morning, Sophia brought me this. A whale and a "tiny squid" (top right corner).

I realized how sweet these little pictures are and how much I love them. But even more, how much I love the little artist behind them. 

Silas Grayson - One Year Old

It's hard to believe a whole year has gone by since Silas was born. I feel like it went pretty slow until he started crawling at six months. The next thing I know, he's turning ONE.

Silas hit all the normal baby milestones pretty evenly spread out. Or maybe that's how it always is? But it's definitely been different than with Sophia. My girl who didn't roll over or crawl until ten months. Hehe.

He started walking two weeks ago. One day he stood up in the kitchen right before we were leaving to a wedding and took about twenty step and was walking all evening. He must have forgotten the next day because it took him several more days before he walked that much again. But he's definitely on the move now. I love watching him walk down the hallway.

One Year

-Size 18 month clothes, size 4.5 shoe.
-22ish lbs, 30ish '' tall (I'm guessing. I was in the bathroom when he was weighed and measured. I'll call and ask in a little while.)
-Size three diapers
-Naps in his crib for 15-30 minutes most days, once or twice a day. If he naps with me it can be an hour or two.
-Can sleep all night in his crib, but usually wakes at some point early morning and is brought in our bed.
-Has three teeth. Two bottom middle, and one top -not the front but the one next to it. Although, a front tooth did just break through right after his birthday. He's been a super easy teether. No fevers and not really any extra fussing with new teeth. He did just start drooling some though.
-Eats his weight in food.
-Likes almost all foods.
-Started self weaning from the bottle around ten months. He started to get "too busy" to have a bottle in the day time. By his first birthday he would have a morning bottle and an evening bottle but wouldn't usually finish them. We've put up the bottles and finished up the formula. Woo hoo! He doesn't seem to miss them at all and has no trouble going to bed without a bottle first. He does drink some cold milk at breakfast and dinner, and carries his straw cup water bottle around throughout the day.
-Uses a pacifier (pappy) to fall asleep.
-Loves babies. He spoon feeds and bottle feeds sister's baby dolls. He also hugs and kisses them.
-Gives hugs with pats on the back. It's adorable. Also some big open mouth slobbery kisses if we're lucky. But he mostly saves his kisses for the baby dolls or cousin Tristan.
-Dances up and down and side to side.
-Says "bye bye" "da da" and sometimes "mama"
-At 11 months he waved and said "bye bye, da da" when Aaron was leaving for school one morning. We cried.
-Signs a few words: more, eat, thirsty, all done (I think he's signing "all done." Can't quite tell yet.) Notice they're all food related. Ha ha!
-Loves to push cars and trains around the house and even does the motor noise with his mouth.
-Still splashes and thrashes in the bath. Still comes quickly any time he hears the bath or shower going and tries to climb in.
-After we take his arms out, he can take his shirt off by himself. He'll even try to get it off when he's not the one bathing. Sometimes when he's done with dinner he will pull his shirt over his head so it's still on his arms but behind his head.
-Crawling on EVERYTHING! This child is always climbing up the couches, beds, kid chairs, and toys. He's gotten quite a few bumps and bruises from falling off and had his first busted lip yesterday after falling off the couch. Lots of blood, tears, and a big fat lip.
-Still a pretty serious little guy.
-Very content doing his own stuff all day long. Only comes to mama when he's tired, hungry, or poopy.
-When he is upset, he puts his head on the ground a cries. Sometimes he pushes him self backwards while laying on the floor fussing. Am I horrible for thinking its cute? :)
-Very loud. Yells, grunts, and squeals while playing. Especially if sister gets loud!
-Puts his hand/s down my shirt when he's tired. Usually one hand down my shirt and one hand on his ear.
-"Jumps" on the beds. His feet haven't come up off the bed yet, but he's pretty close.
-Current favorite pastime: pushing the shopping cart and riding Sophia's old pink car.
-Likes to color with sister. I mean, he really colors. Takes crayons to paper and scribbles. Perks of having an older sibling. You learn everything fast!
-Likes to build legos or blocks with sister. Although... sister doesn't appreciate his help.
-Likes doing pretty much everything sister does. ;)
-Gets VERY excited when Aaron comes home from work.
-Hates having his teeth brushed, but loves to chew on the toothbrush when he gets to hold it.

I'm still obsessed with everything he does.

He is so much fun!

We love him. :)

Silas' 1st Birthday

Yesterday was Silas' first birthday.

We were going to have all the family over to BBQ and hang in the backyard while the kids played and swam, but we canceled last minute. Aaron had finals and also worked 12-14 hours almost every day of the week last week since his guards all had finals and had to work all weekend since most of them asked off for graduation/parties. The kids and I stayed pretty busy too. We were out every day for something. The house has been a disaster and I knew there was no way I'd even get it somewhat picked up before people came over. Silas also woke up yesterday with a runny nose and little cough. We were all just kinda worn. (Except for Sophie girl. Nothing gets her down! Ha!) Oh, and Aaron woke up with pink eye Saturday. Bleh.

Sunday afternoon Sophia and I made a cake. Which also turned out to be a disaster. Ha ha. But it was good! So that's all that matters.

Here are some pictures of Silas having his birthday cake. Not his first bite of sugar... We've definitely been more relaxed with what he eats than we were with Sophia. When I say we're in survival mode with this pregnancy,  I mean it. It's like nothing else matters. We're just trying to make it to August! It was still fun to watch him dig into a piece of cake though. :)

Silas was cracking us up while we sang Happy Birthday. He was loving us singing and sticking his finger up his nose. Silly guy.

Longingly looking at the cake. This will forever be one of my favorite pictures. I love it.

I'll also do a "One Year" post for Silas soon with all his latest.

Happy first birthday, Bubbie!

We bought a van!

Our lives are changed. This week we went from a one car family (for the past two years) to a two car family. Woo hoo!

Not just any car, but a van! I thought I became a "real mom" when I had Silas. You know, two kids. But now that I'm sporting a mini van.... now I'm a real mom. Haha. I kid, I kid. ;)

We bought it from my aunt and uncle in Kansas and my grandparents drove it down. Extra bonus that we get to spend time with them this week! We really couldn't have bought a vehicle from anyone better. What a blessing to know that it has been so very well taken care of. Not to mention the Toyota Sienna has amazing reviews all around. It was really a God thing they way everything came together. 

I can't tell you how excited I am to not have to be so scheduled with outings anymore. No taking Aaron to school or work and planning everything around his schedule the days we need the car. No killing time before we come home because we'll need to pick up Aaron and don't want to go home for 30-45 minutes before getting back out. No getting around leaving the house extra early even though appointments aren't for another hour or two. No picking Aaron up during the dinner time/bedtime chaos. Can I get a woot woot?! Ya hoo!!! 

We've been talking about getting another car for a long while, but we've been making it work and like not having a car payment. Every time I started to want to buy a car before we were ready I thought of Dave Ramsey saying "Live like no one else now so later you can live like no one else." We took the Dave Ramsey financial classes a few years ago and have met with another couple that mentored us financially for a few months. We don't have it all together yet, but there are a few things that have stuck and this is one. Live within our means. 

The best part about it all is that we paid cash for the van. Also, the taxes on our house went down some for this coming year. So it's basically like we're not really having to change our budget much even after adding another car on the insurance and upkeep of the car. 

Anyway, we love it! And now all of our little Byrds will fit comfortably while we drive plus room for more (in a several more years, that is ;) ) We also LOVE giant opening doors and the huge trunk! I drool over the amount of space we have now! 

I am one excited mama!

See Sophia's little hand in the window? The side windows roll down and are awesome!

Such a Dad. Such a babe. :)

Hard pregnancy.

Yes, we're really pregnant.

I've been calling this baby our Bitty Byrd since Silas is still a baby. He's still our Baby Byrd.

We're in our 25th week and wow.. What a different pregnancy this has been!

First trimester wasn't so bad. Mostly only felt yucky in the afternoons and evenings and had some food aversions. Not once did I have the rushing to the bathroom-gonna throw up urge. No extreme nausea. Never threw up. No other super unpleasant symptoms like I had with the other two. For the most part life carried on like it normally did. I guess it really is true! Every pregnancy is different.

Second trimester so far... Has been difficult. Braxton Hicks started around 13 weeks. It's been a lot harder on my body physically than I ever knew it could be. Symptoms that I not dare mention for all to read. But I what I will say is "hello, varicose veins." Among other, ahem, places, I've developed one in my groin that's slowly making it's way down my right leg. My whole right leg feels huge even though there is no swelling. It feels tight, sore, muscle throbs in my thigh all day, knee feels weird and heavy, and causes restless leg syndrome in the evenings. In the mornings it feels like someone is twisting my groin. Yeah. Ow. I'm basically bent in half while I hobble to the bathroom to get in the bath. The discomfort feeling is slowly turning into a painful feeling any time I'm standing or get up from sitting. By the end of the day it's a couple times bigger than when I first get out of bed and it just hurts. Kinda makes me cringe at the thought of pushing another baby out. It's all just affecting me in so many different really personal ways that I don't like to talk about and it's a little lot overwhelming.

I've been debating on whether or not to say anything about it. But it's to the point now where it's weighing so heavily on me that I can't hide how I'm feeling. Even when the cashier at the grocery store says their standard "hi, how are you?" it's all I can do to keep the tears from rolling. I'm feeling miserable. For the past couple of months I've even struggled with feeling guilty about not enjoying pregnancy because I know there are so many women struggling to get pregnant. But you know... pregnancy is hard. Not always, but sometimes. I just keep reminding myself that it's not about the pregnancy, but the baby... And as a friend said, this is only a blimp!

Right now I'm wearing footless compression tights for support all day every day. Not quite the summer accessory I had in mind, but they really do help so I can't complain. Just gotta figure out how to wear them... It basically looks like I'm wearing leggings, but the top of the thighs and bottom are completely see through. And they're very hot.. And difficult to get on. I can't imagine trying to get these suckers on in my third trimester. Ha ha. Aaron will have to help. I'm also trying to stock up on short stretchy dresses and tunic shirts since I have none and that's the least hot and most comfortable option to wear with these compression leggings. 

I'm trying to get in the water at the YMCA to walk, tread, kicks, and swim some easy laps as much as I can. I'm about 50/50 with exercising and resting with my feet up. Sometimes one feels better than the other, so right now I'm told to do what feels good. 

I talked with my midwife and she decided to go ahead and have me start physical therapy to learn some exercises to help alleviate the pain and hopefully keep them from getting worse. Should be starting that soon. 

Last week decided she also wants me to take a baby Asprin once a day to prevent blood clots. I had an ultrasound done on my whole leg the other day to check for deep vein thrombosis and it came back negative. No clots! Still worries me though. 

I think I'm taking a bigger hit emotionally with this whole thing than physically. Although the physical is running a close race. It's hard not to be able to move around comfortably. It's weird having a leg that doesn't feel like your leg. It's hard to not be able to stand and get things done without wanting to cry. Or constantly be worried about a pulmonary embolism. I know I have fear and anxiety issues more than the average person, but it is extremely frustrating that no matter how many times I give that fear to God, it always comes back. I'm having to learn to give it up multiple times a day. 

But on the flip side, I'm not sure that my walk with God has ever been this strong. For the first time I'm learning to lean on him and not my parents or Aaron. I've been in my Bible more than I have in years and am finally understanding what the "living word" means. Verses are popping out at me with whole new meaning and speaking right to me. I pretty much play worship music any time we're home and it's what gets me through the day. Being in the kitchen for meal times and clean up, despite being on my feet, has become one of my favorite things. I pretty much cry off and on, happy and sad tears, all day. It's just sweet and new.. and I'm so feeling God wrapping his arms around me lately. 

But with all the not fun pregnancy symptoms, I feel like I've hardly had time to even think about the baby. It's so different. Especially because my placenta is in the front this time, so I felt the kicks way later than usual. With Sophia, Aaron and I were feeling them at 17 weeks, and with Silas I felt him rolling around at 13 weeks (yes! 13!) and Aaron felt him at 17 weeks. I was about 20 weeks when I finally felt some movement and Aaron didn't feel any until 23 weeks. I am feeling a ton of movement now though. 

Really trying to take it one day at a time. When I start to think about the baby being due August 4th and how much longer I have to go until then, I get a little panicky. 

We've hit a nice stride though. I'd say we are no longer in survival mode. I'm no longer crying all evening and night. We're having meals again (haha! But really..) and the kids are on a great (and early!) bedtime schedule which always makes life easier. Aaron is finishing up this school semester and I'm looking forward to him having the summer off from classes.

Anyway. What a downer post. But that's where I'm at. 

I sure do love this baby though. Another sweet little Byrd. Hurry up August 4th!

Bitty Byrd- Boy or Girl?

On a better note, we decided to find out the gender. 

Who were we kidding? We can't wait for something like that! 

Scarlett Roslyn Byrd

Due August 4th (or whatever day she wants to come :) )

We really loved the name Roslyn for Sophia, but knew Log & Arielle wanted the name Lynn, so we didn't name her that. 

And after unintentionally naming our first two with S names, I couldn't stand not using another S name. We both really like the name Scarlett and don't know anyone by that name. So Scarlett it is! 

I recently started thinking of a few other middle names other than Roslyn so that might change. But Scarlett is a definite yes. 

We were actually hoping for another boy, but of course we're thrilled with a girl. Guess we'll just have to try once more in a few years! 

The other day I caught myself calling her "my Lettie girl" 

Sophia is very excited about having a little sister and even offered to share all her things. Which is HUGE! 

Silas, well, he's oblivious. :)

Aaron and I sure can't wait to meet her though. Hurry up, August!