More Than a Hospital Stay

I feel like I've told this story many times over the last week, but here's the long story short. The kids all had colds and Silas' asthma flared so bad that it landed him in the hospital for a week. I went to urgent care with him last Monday morning and we were there for several hours while they gave a steroid and a few breathing treatments to monitor him. He was finally doing better so they decided to send us home. By the time we got home he was struggling so I called the doctor who we had just seen and asked how many breathing treatments I can do within the hour because he already needed another one and she said, "if you're trying to give him another one, you just need to go to the ER now." A few hours after we had arrived in the ER they admitted Silas.

The days were long and the nights even longer. During the days his oxygen would hover in the low 90's with an oxygen mask, then eventually without the mask, but during the nights, my precious little bub would struggle with his oxygen in the 70's. They have a rule that if you need oxygen at any time, you cannot be discharged until you've gone 24 hours without it. Each night we'd hope and pray he was well enough without it, but he needed it for three nights and at some points during the day.

It was really hard for me to listen to Silas beg through tears for a breathing treatment, or watch him get an IV, or freak out over an oxygen mask being put on him, or just in general be so out of sorts because of lack of sleep, strong medicines, and breathing treatments that made his heart rate go up.  But we had the most amazing nurses and doctor and the most amazing family that got us through the week.

As much as I love my little guy, I'm not so much writing this post just to document his hospital stay, but rather write out to process what has been going on in my head and heart. I seem to come back to the ol' blog when I need to process. Most of the time I start a post, write then delete, write a little more then delete a little more, and once I've processed for however long I need to, I stop mid post and never come back to finish or publish it to the blog. It just sits there as a half written draft.  Heh.

Anyway, by the end of the week I realized I have been doing too much, life was too hurried, and I had been too stressed. A week long hospital stay, a stay with basically zero sleep for me, should be much more stressful for someone. My skin and hair looked the best it's looked all semester, I never had a headache and had been getting them most days, and I never felt rage or irritated and I wasn't even sweaty! Ha!

Sure, I was away from my messy house. I wasn't washing a sink full of dishes from a meal the kids didn't like. I wasn't listening to siblings bickering or fighting and frustrated because I "didn't have time" to deal with it. I wasn't hurrying us all into the messy van to make it to co-op that no one wanted to go to. I wasn't fighting a certain child about a certain school thing that had to be done by a certain time so we could be where we "needed" to be on time. I wasn't stressing over all the ways I had been falling short. 

Now, I'm not saying it was a vacation (and actually we were supposed to be in Dallas with Aaron that week. He had a work trip we were going to tag along on and go to the Perot Museum of Nature & Science. Paid for hotel and gas... *cue tears*). I'm not saying I didn't worry or stress over my precious little guy. I'm not saying I'm glad I got that "break" from life. But what I am saying is that. holy cow, I needed it. I needed to be slapped with the realization that I can't keep up the pace I was going. My kids can't. My house can't. Our schooling can't. I can't. And I'm thankful I felt it.

So now I figure out what to cut out, what to limit, and what to keep. I want to say yes to all things and people, but when I say "yes" to them I'm saying "no" to other needs.

Almost my entire week was devoted to keeping Silas calm and understanding how difficult it was for him to be in the hospital. That poor guy, he really struggled with it all. I dug deep to keep Silas from getting upset because crying led to more wheezing, coughing, and shortness of breath. And you know what? It worked. Every time. He would get upset, but it wouldn't last long. I know these things. I know validating the kids' feelings helps the situation, remaining calm helps them clam, giving my undivided attention is what they need. I' know these things and I try to do them, but somehow these master tools got tossed to the side for time's sake. It was the weirdest thing, like I was watching myself come back to my old self. The mama who deeply cared about her little one's feelings and tended to them ever so gently. I was watching myself take the time to guide Silas through something difficult. I was so understanding and I knew he felt it because it was genuine. I hate that I've stepped away from that. My hurried life has caused me to not have time for the most important little people around me. I don't want to be that kind of mom anymore (or person, for that matter). I long to have time, so much time, for all their struggles. I want to have time to listen and understand them. I want to be a safe haven for them to come to regardless of the situation.I need to give them time to be 4, 5, and 8. Time to work through the day to day life of a kiddo their own age. I need to give us time to learn new habits and follow through. I need to allow for more time... So that's what I'm going to do.

Silas and I really enjoyed each other. We colored, watched shows, played games, played foosball, walked around, examined the fish tank, and he spent a lot of time cracking jokes and pulling out funny faces. What a precious boy!

Silas’ sweet nurse changed his door sign 

Last week was long, but I'm so thankful to be where we are. I've been shown the importance and the gift that time is. I also learned a great deal more about asthma while talking to all the respiratory therapists last week and I feel much more prepared for the next asthma flare up.

Silas is doing so much better. He's gone two nights without needed a breathing treatment and didn't need one at all yesterday. I'd say he's over the flare.

Scarlett also had some wheezing and coughing that landed her a trip to the doctor on one of the days Aaron was out of town. My mom came and sat with Silas at the hospital while I took her. She responded very well to her breathing treatments and they did put her on steroid too, since whatever virus it was ended up being so hard on Silas. Flu and RSV tests were all negative for them both, so who knows! I’m just glad she’s over it and now Silas is, too.

I'm so thankful for all of our family who stepped in to help in many ways and were constantly checking in on us. We are blessed to be apart of a huge, loving family. Thankful for our village.

Give Yourself Time

I saw something the other day that put so many years into perspective.

I don't remember what I was looking at or for, but I accidentally came across this picture and when I saw it I felt a rush of emotions and let out a little sob. I still tear up when I think about it.

God used this picture to touch my soul so deeply...
So much healing came from this simple art work.
It left me crying for weeks and still brings me to a really sweet place of understanding, grace, and mercy.



I've heard these exact words too many times to count, actually. But for some reason, they didn't quite resonate with me the way this picture did.

I think I forget how visual I am sometimes...

Anyway, when I saw this I literally had a montage-like tornado of memories, years of frustration, and feelings of inadequacy and failure swirling around in my head, and they were all calmed down by it.

You know, we got married and had Sophia all in one month's time. Well, OK, a month and a few days. Very quickly, I found out how challenging it was and would be to take care of my home and my babies all while having a relationship with the love of my life.

Unknowingly, I got caught up in the comparison game.
Happy, thriving children.
Clean house.
Homemade meals.
Clean kitchen after meals.
Natural alternatives.
DIYing.
Time with the Lord.
Devotionals.
Finances.
Book lists.
Keeping my interest and passions burning.
Play dates.
Date nights.
Friends.
Church family.
Community.

And the list goes on and on.
It wasn't even that I was comparing my life to other people's necessarily, but that I was comparing my life to what I thought I should be.

As you know, my pregnancy with Scarlett brought on so many difficult things. I keep finding myself saying "well, now that the fog has lifted, I'm feeling much better." But the fact is, that I'm still saying that and she's two and a half years old. That year was such a blurry, difficult year, and I'm starting to wonder if it also had a lot to do with the ages of the kids, maybe the lack of sleep, the, still, newness (or what still felt new and foreign compared to the rest of my life) of people depending on me for their every meal, or really their every day time need (shout out to my Babe for helping with with those evening and night time hours!).

I guess what I'm getting at is that raising babies/toddlers/young children (and I’m betting adolescents and teens, too, heh) is really challenging. We've entered a new season and I'm honestly loving it. Scarlett is potty trained, everyone can communicate well, and the kids actually play together- sometimes for hours! I feel like I'm swimming around now rather than keeping my head above water. It's nice. It comes with it's issues, but still... nice. And even though I have loved so many minutes of raising my little people, it was so constant and difficult for me that I lost myself a little. And all of these unrealistic standards I had made for myself made life harder. Harder for everyone.

So, I’m 6.5 years into this. Marriage. Motherhood. Homemaker.

I was thinking back to the other day when I noticed the chaos wasn't so... chaotic all of the time anymore. Well, let me rephrase that. The chaos might still be there, by my emotions are no longer dictated by it. I had made dinner (starting at 3:30PM, mind you), fed the family, cleaned up dinner and the kitchen, put the byrdies to bed, grabbed my cup of tea, turned the out the light, walked into my quiet and clean living room, and sat down to watch a weekly show while my kiddos were all fast asleep. All before 7:15PM. And this is kinda my regular routine now (on a good day, of course). But I was thinking back to how impossible this new norm would have been a few years ago and how I would have gone to bed beating myself up over the dishes in the sink and sticky table. Sure, there are still some nights like that, but its OK because I'm realizing it's less often than it is more often. Progess is happening. I am getting it. Hooray!

Six years.

It took me six years to get to that point.
Do I have it all figured out? Ha! Heck no.
But what I do know is that keeping my eyes on Him, and with dedication and willingness, fruit will come.

I’m just so thankful for the ways God speaks to me. So thankful for the way God works. Especially when I don’t even see it coming- when I don’t even know I need it.
But he knows. He knew. He knew my heart and he knew his timing. And I saw that pictures exactly when I was supposed to and that is beautiful to me.

Seeing this picture, a picture that my sweet Sophie girl is drawing for me right next to me, gave me an understanding of grace and mercy for myself that I hadn't had. And if I can have a bit of that for myself, well, it helped me understand grace and mercy that comes from the Father a little bit more. Isn’t he good?



Whatever your season, give yourself time.
He is faithful.

Happy birthday to me! - A post I saved as a draft and decided to publish after several months! ;P

I've been looking forward to my birthday for a few months now. 

28.

Wow... am I really 28?

It's been six months since the fog has lifted. I'd say the days are pretty clear now.

All of the vein issues during my pregnancy with Scarlett and the clotting afterwards... and especially just having a third child... It wrecked me.

w-r-e-c-k-e-d me.

Depression and anxiety are real... they're tricky things. Half the time I was able to cover them up until I was home, and the other half of the time I just didn't leave home.

I hate that I let it rob me of so much.

I think of my precious Scarlett and feel guilt. I don't remember when she got her first tooth, or what day she started to walk, what her first words were or when she said them. (Thank goodness for Instagram because I'm thinking a few of these firsts are somewhere in there.) I just remember the veins. Those damn veins and the discomfort. And I remember the dark days. And the fear of death that hung over me 24/7. And feeling like I would never survive the first year of having an infant, a toddler, and a preschooler.

I'm wondering why I even chose to bring that up? I guess it's because it still feels so much a part of my life. So much of what has happened in the last year and a half has kept me from writing for fear that I would some day regret what it was that I had written. Honestly, I am thankful for all of the trials because they shaped me into who I am today. But I am so happy to be past it all.

Phew.

Anyway, 28.

We've had some major life changes that I'm excited to share, but for now I'm sticking with 28.

You know the feeling you get when something good is coming? Where your hopeful and excited but you still aren't quite sure what is next? That's how I feel about this year.

For a few years now I've struggled with feeling like we belong.

What church to go to?

What friendships to deepen?

Well this year, I feel answers coming. 

Not exactly that I have peace about all of these things yet, but that I WILL. And that gives me peace. So I guess it's faith. Faith that this year will be different and this year I will be able to hear answers.

This year I'm focusing on me. 

That sounds a selfish, but I don't mean it in a selfish way.

When life gets crazy (wait, is it ever not?) the first thing to go is me. Exercise? Gone. Balanced healthy meals? Gone. Sleep? Nope. Quite time? Put on hold. Our bedroom? Total mess. I started to realize how important it is to take care of myself and that just surviving isn't going to cut it. I really am looking forward to taking care of myself. Simple things, too. Like washing my face before bed. Drinking my tea or coffee while it's still warm. Brushing my teeth before lunch (ha!). My absolute favorite is "waking up for my day instead of to my day." I heard that from Kat Lee from Inspired to Action. I've always been someone to do this, but if I get to bed later than I'd like, I don't. It's amazing how much better I feel about the day when I've started it out with a few hours of time with the Lord and myself and 20 oz of water!

This year is the year for Byrdhouse.

I have longed to sew and create for 10+ years. I've had a dream of my own small sewing business for about 5 years and last year finally took pen to paper. I have big dreams for Byrdhouse; starting with Byrdhouse Baby and each year adding on a new branch (things for sister byrd, mama byrd, the byrd nest, etc.) Last year I began working with my amazing sister-in-law and her husband on creating a branding kit. It's been on the slow track since I haven't been in any rush, but this is the year.

This is the year for forgiveness.

I was so excited when I saw that my birthday fell on a Flourish Friday. Flourish has been so good for me. The word Milly gave was exactly what I needed to hear. Although I have heard people speak on forgiveness several times over the years, this time I made some connections that I haven't made before. This time it was as if God was speaking directly to me through her and I couldn't stop the tears once they came. Unforgiveness has been a ball and chain I've been lugging around for years and I'm ready to let go. It is by no mistake that Milly ended with forgiveness and that this meeting fell on my birthday- the birthday I had been looking forward- the birthday that is bringing a new me in this new year. 

I had planned to document more of my birthday, but I forgot some pictures and the ones I have are.. eh..

It started Thursday morning on a breakfast date with my dad. I had been missing our little meet ups for quite some time. We talked for a few hours about all sorts of things and it was wonderful. Since I forgot to get a picture, I'll post the greatest FaceTime screen shot of when he called me on my birthday from the airport.

Thursday night I snuggled all my babies and they fell asleep within minutes of each other. Aaron moved them all to their beds after I soaked in their soft cheeks and stinky breath. Hehe.

Friday morning I was up at my normal 5AM. I like to read books, read my Bible, listen to worship, drink some water, you know... gear up for the day. I made Sophia's lunch in the dark kitchen like I do every morning. It's nice to make a little meal and not be rushed or bombarded with kids. I also made some yummy things for Flourish since it was my table's turn to bring breakfast.

We take the wagon into Flourish when I bring breakfast. The kids love it. Aren't they adorable?

I snapped a picture during worship at Flourish, too. One of my favorite things about Flourish!

After we picked up Sophia from school we cleaned our rooms and the kids played well together for at least an hour. So refreshing! They colored some big cardboard boxes for my "birthday gift." They also colored their arms and faces...

They spent some time outside playing in a little mud spot, too. I like to let them get dirty. Even when Silas sneaks outside in his white Olaf slippers to play in the mud.  Heh.

Aaron brought home pizza since my birthday gift to me was not having to cook dinner. Yeah! Then we had cheesecake with the kids. Yes, I gave myself "28" candles. :)

We got the kids ready for bed and my mom watched them while Aaron and I went on a little date. We went to Starbucks and played my new game Ticket to Ride. It was perfect. I sure do love him.

The next day my mom took me on a surprise shopping trip to Abilene! We laughed about the fact that she wanted to take me to San Antonio, but me and my car-sick self wouldn't have enjoyed such a "long" ride. Haha! It really is so unfortunate that I get car-sick. I've always wondered why that happens? Why me? Ha.

Anyway, it was the best day!!! I was amazed at how long it took me to stop rushing myself. To slow down and chew my food and enjoy a meal. To not walk super fast. To not feel like I'm running late. But eventually, I got there and I really enjoyed hanging with my mom the whole day. Plus, it was pretty awesome to have your mom and dad give you money for a little shopping spree with the instructions to only spend it on yourself. Woo hoo!
I forgot to get a picture of me and mom. Boo. But I did snap a picture of one of my new shirts. I've always liked this little saying. Especially because that's how I like to start my mornings.

 I felt bad for my mom. I fell asleep on the way home. I'm a terrible person to go out of town with. The car-sick one and the one who can't stay awake in the car. But mom is great and let me sleep. We joked that it was my bedtime anyway, 8PM. Except we both new it was no joke...Ha!

I really needed and enjoyed being away from my kiddos for a while. When we got home Silas was asleep on the couch while Aaron was in the other room putting Scarlett to sleep. It was precious. As much as I wanted some time away from them, it was nice to be reunited with my little crew.

It was a great birthday.
I know it's going to be a great year!

"So long"

I've been MIA for a while... a long while.

Every time I've started a post it has ended up being pretty depressing. Not that I think there's anything wrong with remembering the hard and sad, but when you're going through something tough, it doesn't really help to look back and read all that tough while you're still in it. So I prefer to write about it after I've seen a light, while I'm coming out of it, or have already overcome.

I've been wondering what I'll do for my next post, and after this morning I just started writing this, and well, I guess this is it.

--------------------------

A little story from this morning.

You just can't make this stuff up. Sometimes all you can do (after you *might* lose it for a minute) is sit back and laugh, and thank God for your little ones. And be so thankful that walking in the Spirit is what gets you through. So glad I don't have to do this on my own.

I closed myself in the littles' room to nurse and rock Scarlett for the last time. It's been 21 hours since our last nursing session, and after having a low grade fever and chills for a few days and it reaching 103 in the night, I went to urgent care and got a shot and an antibiotic. She's been in the process of weaning all on her own, so this kinda just sped up my decision to wean now.

Sophia comes running in with a pot that I had heard Silas banging on because she knew this last nursing session was important to me.

Back to peace and quiet. Back to my tears. Back to rubbing my Scarlett's warm, fuzzy little head. Praying blessings over my sweet girl and our new relationship, and asking God to gives us something just as special.

Sophia comes running back in telling me she threw up the bite of cereal she ate along with all the water she drank because it was "SO GROSS!" Mind you, this is "kid cereal" Sophia always begs me to get but I never do. Then comes in Silas, making very dramatic throw up noises. So convincing that I think he actually might throw up, too.

So I run in to see a giant puddle of water with a tiny bit of cereal mixed in. I tell them to occupy Scarlett on the rug so I can clean it.

Sophia steps over and Silas... Silas charges right through it, slipping, feet flying into the air, landing flat on his back, and is covered in stinky water and specks of cereal.

Into the bath he goes. Being cleaned up for the second time today. The first time being after he handed us his pull up and a very impressive poop this morning. (Wait, what! It's still morning. It's only 10:40...).

As I washed him up I noticed he's feverish. Poor guy.

Cleaned up the throw up puddle (after already cleaning trails of poop on carpet earlier ;) ) and now mommy is taking a "time out."

----------------------------

A few thoughts I've had several times throughout the recent days regarding my weaning Scarlett.

I've been pregnant and/or nursing for the past 5+ years. I can't believe it's coming to an end...

Hallelujah! The end is near!!!!!!!

But she's my baby.....

Last baby...

I can't believe Scarlett has been self weaning... So weird.

I get wrapped up in thinking my identity is a pregnant and nursing mom. 

Who am I now?

Hello, New Season of Life! Welcome! 

Hello, Sports Bras Without the Anxiety of a Clogged Milk Duct.

Hello, Uninterrupted Date Night!

What is my body going to feel like?

Will I feel a little less deprived?

I'm SO ready for this!!!!!

I'm so NOT ready for this!!!! 

I better not be pregnant..... I dry up with pregnancy.

(I'm not pregnant.)

All these pregnancies and nursing relationships were SO different from each other. It's crazy. I could have never guessed. 

WE'RE WEANING!!!!!!

We're really weaning.....

I almost don't believe it to be true. 

It can't be true.

It's true.

Sad.

So sad.

I cry a lot.

Happy.

So happy and excited. 

I cry a lot.

But this is good and I'm ready for this next season of life. 

Of course, if the Lord decides to bless us with another baby Byrd, we'll be thrilled. But we're both hearing that now is a time to focus on Aaron graduating and his future career, and continued healing over my body from my pregnancy with Scarlett. So as of right now, we're pretty sure this season is closed for a while. 

This last nursing session wasn't anything like I thought it'd be. Then again, with kids, is anything ever anything I thought it would be?? I didn't get to snuggle on the rocking chair with a blanket, Scripture Lullabies playing in the background, Scarlett nodding off to sleep in a milk drunk state, and my other two children playing peacefully in the other room (who am I kidding?). Instead, Scarlett let me know that my milk was low and she wanted to play instead, I was coughing causing Scar to unlatch and look up at me each time, I heard banging of pots and pans, loud over the top laughs and shouts and throw up noises, and was cut short by clean-ups.

Here is Scarlett being silly before bedtime last night on mom and dad's bed. First night without nursing at all and she slept her normal 12 hours.

I did manage to snap a picture today though, and I'll remember that 10 minutes for the rest of my life.

Lord, your design for life is so beautiful. So miraculous! Thank you for all these sweet moments with my babies. They are forever treasured in my heart.

Home with Scarlett

My mom brought Sophia and Silas home about 15 minutes after Aaron and I got home with Scarlett.

Sophia ran through the door with excitement and Silas was just happy to see mom and dad. He was kind of shy and quiet about Scarlett. He was curious and really liked her until she started crying. The second he heard and saw her cry, he started crying. It was so sad and so adorable.

Nikki came over shortly after my mom and the kids. We were very grateful that she was able to stay a few hours and help with the kids while we got settled in.

I loved watching Sophia and Silas meet Scarlett.

Definitely one of my most favorite memories. 

And yes, Sophia wore lipstick for the special occasion- meeting baby sister. I love that girl. :)

Scarlett's Birth - Part 2

I now know that it was God's provision for me to get that epidural because I can't imagine what it would have been like to go through the next few hours without it.

The on call doctor came in about ten minutes after Scarlett was born. He was a little irritated that the bed hadn't been broken down and that we didn't wait for him to have our baby. I mean... WE waited, but my body didn't! Scarlett came whether we were ready or not.

When my placenta came out, it came out in pieces. I was hemorrhaging and he spent the next 1.5-2 hours trying to find the rest of the pieces inside me and stop the bleeding. The nurses were pressing hard on my stomach while he searched for the placenta. My epidural was at the max amount of medicine it could give, I had several shots for pain and to stop the bleeding, and some pills inserted inside to stop the bleeding. Those two hours were a complete blurr of extreme pain, nausea, and the most throwing up I've ever done in my life. Combined.

It was very traumatic. The combination of all the medicines killed my stomach. I had to be laying back so the doctor could pack me and stop the bleeding. I was pretty much throwing up for thirty minutes straight. I was throwing up so much it was hard to even get a breath. I remember the doctor talking about a hysterectomy... It was all scary... so scary.

I don't remember much... Just feeling faint, fainting, throwing up, medicine, major abdominal pain, and the insane amount of pressure from the doctor trying to find the placenta pieces and stopping the bleeding.

Aaron stayed by my side the whole time and mom and Nikki stayed with Scarlett. The nurses had Nikki give her some sugar water since I wasn't able to nurse her.

Around 4:30 AM things started to calm down. I remember waking up and telling Nikki goodbye and fell right back to sleep. Then my mom came over to me and said goodbye. While she was talking to me I remember feeling hot and my hands itched. Then I heard my mom tell the nurses I was breaking out in a rash. Turns out it was a side effect of one of the medicines. So more medicine in me for that!

Aaron kept baby Scarlett next to him by the couch while I slept another hour. I woke up at 6:00 AM needing to use the bathroom. One of the medicines gave me an upset stomach and another gave me a low grade fever. Then I nurses Scarlett for the first time.

When I woke up my right leg felt like it was still numb from the epidural. I remember thinking that was weird since the other leg was already back to normal.

When I lowered it on the side of the bed, I couldn't bend it. And the fire was back. But worse. 100x times worse. I was expecting immediate relief from my varicose veins after delivering. The weight of a baby was off the veins. It was supposed to feel better. But it didn't. It was so bad that I couldn't put any pressure on my leg.

I said goodbye to my nurses that morning and thanked them over and over. They were so caring and attentive through it all. Maybe it was my hormones, but the nurse who took their place wasn't very considerate. I kept wanting to scream at her "you have NO idea what I've just been through!!!!!" Needless to say, I was very glad when she wheeled me out of Labor & Delivery and upstairs to our new room.

As we were leaving our room I started bawling.
It was all so much.
This pregnancy was so much.
The retained placenta was so much.
My leg was so much.
And I was finally leaving that room.

The next two days were ... weird. It was really hard for me to bond with Scarlett. It felt weird. All I could focus on was the burning in my leg and the fact that I couldn't bend it at my knee.

The on-call OB came to check on me that morning and called the vascular surgeon I had been seeing to come check out my leg. Every spot that had a varicose vein was now bright red, swollen, majorly inflamed, and was so sensitive to touch that even the sheets had me shrieking in pain. We found out that I had Superficial Thrombophlebitis, which is inflammation of a vein located just below the skins surface. The inflammation is cause by blood clots. So yes, all varicose veins that I had had clotted. The cluster in my right groin also clotted over into my left groin.

Everything was hard.
Everything hurt.
Everything was incredibly tender and sensitive.
Everything burned.

It was (and is) all superficial. (It's been superficial the whole pregnancy.) Meaning there is no serious risk of having a clot in my deep vein (DVT) or that clot traveling to my lungs or anywhere else (pulmonary embolism). That doesn't mean that it can't happen, but it is very unlikely that it will.

My doctor (the vascular surgeon) said Superficial Thrombophlebitis is surprisingly painful and it would get worse before it got better. He was right. The next few days were almost unbearable.

The whole hospital stay was a blurr.

Lots of medicine.
Lots of crying.
Lots of hurting.

Scarlett did OK with nursing. She didn't seem to pick it up quite as fast as the other two kids, but she got it well enough. Aaron stayed with me the whole time and Sophia and Silas had a great time staying with my mom.

Scarlett was so precious.

All I could do was look at her and cry. I couldn't believe she was really here.

She cried a lot more at the hospital than I remember Sophia and Silas crying. I thought she was going to be my loud baby, but it turns out she is actually very quiet.

She was a little jaundiced but not enough to be put under the lights.

Despite the blurr of our hospitals stay and the whole vein issues, the room was peaceful. It was a nice few days for me, Aaron, and Scarlett to be together.

On our way home to meet brother and sister!